An Ode to Football

For the sake of posterity, here is an email that I received from my sister just the other day:

I was bored in class last night. So, Brad and I each wrote song lyrics
for my new passion: Football. (For reals, his are really good. Mine,
below, are just plain hilarious)

Also, I had "Hey there, Delilah" in my head as I wrote them.

Good morning sunshine, have you got the remote ready
I know you and I are busy, but the game's on now

Oh, it aint just a game
No, It's a way of life.
And I know they'll lose if I don't watch

I'm actually not that lazy; my day's actually packed.
I gotta watch the quarterback get sacked.
The next twelve hours are really very busy
To see all thse games at once aint that easy

Oh, it aint just a game
No, It's a way of life.
And I know they'll lose if I don't watch

You never know when there will be an upset
There are reasons for Divisions, after all.
Oh, now that's a bull crap call.
Hey, come on, get that ball!

Oh, it aint just a game
No, It's a way of life.
And I know they'll lose if I don't watch

Don't you worry, he didn't get hit that hard
The team just really needed that one last yard..
So there really was good reason and after all, 'tis the season.

Oh, it aint just a game
No, It's a way of life.
And I know they'll lose if I don't watch

=)..........I am such a dork!
Kim

And, so, to let Kimmie know that she is not a dork (or not the only dork), here is a parody of "Sixteen tons" that I wrote when I was 16 during the 1997 NBA Playoffs (Jazz vs. Bulls):

If the Mailman comes by, you betta step aside.
A lotta men didn't. A lotta men died.
In one fist, the ball, the other, the mail,
If he doesn't getcha, then the rest of 'em will.

(chorus)
Ya' work 13 years and whadaya get?
Another year older and so little respect.
So, Bulls, just quit yer whinin' 'cuz we don't care
'Bout Jordan's earplugs or Rodman's hair...

I can't remember the rest, but there where three verses plus the chorus. It was some pretty intense basketball that year...

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How Many Teeth Does The Tooth Fairy Pick Up Each Night in Utah?

Somebody asked me a question about my Tooth Fairy post the other day that got me thinking. How many baby teeth are lost every day in Utah?

I began with Googling. Surely someone else has thought of this and run some numbers, right? Lo, there is a tooth fairy site that claims that the Tooth Fairy collects 300,000 teeth per night.

That's a lot; however, when I ran the numbers, it started to seem awfully low.

Let's assume that the Tooth Fairy collects all baby teeth regardless of quality and we assume that all children lose all their baby teeth. The world population of children sits at 2.2 billion, with 74.2 million of them in the United States. Of those, approximately 896,961 of them are in Utah. This means that somewhere around .04077% of the world's children are in Utah.

If we assume that kids in Utah lose teeth at the same rate as all other children in the world and that each day in the year is just as likely as the rest to lose a tooth, then we have that of the alleged …

Mental Math Tricks: Is this divisible by 17?

Image via WikipediaSo, most know how to tell if something is divisible by 2 or 5, and many know how to tell if something is divisible by 9. What about other numbers?

So, here are strategies for discovering divisibility from 2 to 10, and then we'll talk about some rarer, more surprising divisibility tricks:

Divisible by two:If the number ends in 0, 2, 4, 6, or 8, it is divisible by 2.

Divisible by five:If the number ends in 0 or 5, it is divisible by 5.

Divisible by ten:If the number ends in 0, it is divisible by 10.

Divisible by nine: If you add all the digits in a number together and that new number is divisible by 9, then it is also divisible by 9.

Example #1: 189 -> 1 + 8 + 9 = 18, 18 is divisible by 9, so 189 is also divisible by 9
Example #2: 137781 -> 1 + 3 + 7 + 7 + 8 + 1 = 27, 27 is divisible by 9, so 137781 is also divisible by 9
(Note: If adding six numbers together in your head seems difficult, look for my next post on number-grouping tricks. Soon, adding six numbe…

BYU and the Sunday Compromise?

I read an article by Brad Rock this morning where he quoted heavily from Dr. Thomas Forsthoefel who was giving his opinion on religious institutions being involved in sports. BYU, of course, came up.
I think Forsthoefel came off sounding a bit misinformed about the culture, drive, mission, etc. of BYU. Below is the email that I sent to Brad Rock this morning after finishing the article:
Brad -
That was an interesting article. I tend to disagree with Forsthoefel, though, or at least disagree with what I may have read into his comments.
A quote in your article says:
"There may be a kind of growing pain. BYU is in the real world and the real world works on Sunday. Can we (BYU) live with the adjustment? I'm empathetic with that, whatever decision is made, people are going to be unhappy.… Some will say get with the program, we'll be OK at the next level, others will say we've sold out and we've made a deal with the world."

This seems to suggest one or two things; fir…

I'd Rather Be Deriving

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