Skip to main content

Signs of the True Church

When I was on my mission, there was a particular tract available to missionaries called "17 Points of the True Church". It has a really interesting story behind it as well.

However, I think that there are some much more compelling signs than those listed in those points.

1. The Book of Revelations

If you are a Latter-Day Saint, then say out loud the title of the last book in the New Testament. Unless you have already been asked this question before, you probably said "Revelations". Now, open the New Testament, and you will find that it is called "Revelation" with no "s" on the end. I have never heard a non-Mormon call it "Revelations", but I have heard many (including my Sunday School teacher last Sunday) repeatedly call it the book of "Revelations". I even received a book as a gift before my mission (2000-2002) that exhibited this problem. It was supposed to be a scripture quick reference, but everywhere it referenced a verse in the Book of Revelation, it listed it as Revelations. Oy, it got past the editor and everything!

Anyway, I have come to understand that this simply must be a sign of the true church, which is why so many Latter-Day Saints call it "Revelations" while the rest of the world calls it "Revelation".

2. The 3 Cs that lead to disaffection

A while back, I was part of a lesson where "the 3 Cs", as coined by the professor, were discussed. He said that these three Cs were the greatest causes of disaffection with the Church. He asked us to guess them, and someone said "Criticism". (Note that criticism plays an important role in our society, just not criticism out of our stewardship, which is what we referred to in the lesson.) Someone else said "contempt".

After a number of tries, we couldn't seem to guess the third "c" that the instructor was hinting at. He offered the following hint: It's something that the Relief Society does. Someone called out, "Centerpiece!"

Everyone laughed because the Relief Society centerpiece is one of the great inside jokes in the LDS culture. In one LDS flick, the RM, the idea is played on very heavily with the mother in the family always trying to find the perfect centerpiece for her next Relief Society lesson.

Centerpieces, then, are definitely one of the signs of the True Church.

3. Flip, Fetch, and Freak!

We've been commanded to not take the Lord's name in vain, but, in addition, to not use vulgar or offensive language. This means that lots of Latter-Day Saints, in order to obey the letter of the law, will just modify the word a bit. :) I had a mission companion who actually took great pleasure in using a character from the Book of Mormon, Shiz, as his "replacement word". Others that make a Latter-Day Saint stand out more than a CTR ring are "flip, fetch, and freak". Signs of the True Church.

4. Green Jello

A famous LDS joke:

Q: What do you get when you play Mormon Tabernacle Choir music backwards?

A: Green Jello recipes

I rest my case.

Aren't those infinitely more compelling?!


Popular posts from this blog

How Many Teeth Does The Tooth Fairy Pick Up Each Night in Utah?

Somebody asked me a question about my Tooth Fairy post the other day that got me thinking. How many baby teeth are lost every day in Utah?

I began with Googling. Surely someone else has thought of this and run some numbers, right? Lo, there is a tooth fairy site that claims that the Tooth Fairy collects 300,000 teeth per night.

That's a lot; however, when I ran the numbers, it started to seem awfully low.

Let's assume that the Tooth Fairy collects all baby teeth regardless of quality and we assume that all children lose all their baby teeth. The world population of children sits at 2.2 billion, with 74.2 million of them in the United States. Of those, approximately 896,961 of them are in Utah. This means that somewhere around .04077% of the world's children are in Utah.

If we assume that kids in Utah lose teeth at the same rate as all other children in the world and that each day in the year is just as likely as the rest to lose a tooth, then we have that of the alleged …

Five Reasons Serving on the Athlos Board is Fun Right Now

About 18 months ago, a friend of mine, Bethany Zeyer, let me know about an open position on the Athlos Academy of Utah school board. I've always had a passion for education, and my kids' school seemed like a place where I could have a positive effect on the community.

Also, I'd just finished reading "The Smartest Kids in the World" by Amanda Ripley and, based on Amanda's advice, interviewed the school's director.

I was in the mood to contribute!

I applied and was accepted, and I've been serving on the board for a little over a year now.

Since then, I've learned a whole lot about how a school is run.

I've learned that someone needs to determine the school guidelines for pesticide usage.

And that someone needs to be thinking about the long-term future of the school, whether or not to increase grade capacity, whether or not to match the pay increases big school districts are giving, and most importantly, evaluate whether or not the school is achi…

Twas the Night Before Pi Day

Twas the Night Before Pi Day
by Joshua Cummings

Twas the night before Pi Day, when Archimedes, the muse,
Went to pay me a visit whilst I took a snooze.

I'd visions of carrot cake, candy, and cheese
When dashed open my window and entered a breeze
That stirred me to consciousness, albeit in time
To see my face plastered in pie of key lime.

And once I'd removed the fruit from my eyes
And put on my spectacles did I realize
That before me presented a most divine spectre
Who clearly possessed the Key Lime Projector.

"It's a fulcrum, you see!" he began to explain,
"All I use is this crank to cause the right strain,
"Then releasing its fetter it launches sky high
"The juiciest pie of key lime in your eye!"

I sat there immobile for what seemed a year,
As the spectre protested I his genius revere,
When clearly it came, the fine revelation,
Of his piety, honor, achievements, and station.
With his little old catapult, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment that this must be …