Skip to main content

Put Me On Intermittent

A couple of weeks ago, Kristi and I were in Idaho celebrating Christmas with the Call family (Kristi's maternal grandparents and down). One morning, a few of us decided to go play basketball at the YMCA. But, before getting our game on, there was another opponent that the driver, Craig, had to battle: The snow.

See, Craig is from Arizona, and so his dad, Bruce, decided that Craig should get some practice on snowy Idaho roads since he will likely never get such practice in Arizona (of course, in Arizona, he gets practice on melty roads). A quick talk about black ice, drift, etc. was enough to make Craig really nervous, but he was a pretty good sport.

Our conversation about driving in the snow, including the important note that the traction that the road will provide will be intermittent, led us to wonder what would be the worst kind of 'intermittence' that one could experience while on the road.

Unanimously, it was gravity. Imagine a storm that could cause the natural gravitational pull of the road to ebb and flow. What would happen if we hit a bump in the road just when the Earth's gravitational pull was compromised? What if it didn't come back for several seconds and then quickly resumed its regularly scheduled behavior? That, indeed would be scary.

However, if you were just on foot, it would sure be fun to splash in those puddles...

After only a few minor mistakes of our young driver, we made it safely to the YMCA where we played basketball for a couple of hours. After those couple of hours passed, we played for a couple more hours. After those couple of hours passed, we played raquetball. Dude. We were at the YMCA for 4-1/2 hours! Suddenly, it wasn't the intermittent traction on the road that bothered me, but instead my intermittent muscle spasms that made me wish I had stuck with a more intermittent level of participation in the days events.

I wonder what would really be particularly bad if it were intermittent. For example, air being intermittent would be particularly bad. Water, food, and sleep aren't as bad as air. Indeed, many people practice a certain level of intermittence with these three (to their detriment, I supposed) due to mountains of homework, mountains of sick kids, or mountains of video gaming to catch up on after the homework and sick kids become a little more intermittent themselves.

Hands would be bad. I'd hate to have the use of my hands wax and wane. Or disappear and reappear. Any vital part of our body would probably be bad. Someone, I don't think that an intermittent belly button would be too bad. I could even go with intermittent hair, if I had to choose. *knock on wood*

Our 3-dimensions would be bad to have intermittent. Maybe we wouldn't even notice if our world changed intermittently from 2- to 3- dimensions, so long as our bodies followed suit. But what if the temporal dimension moved intermittently into a spatial dimension? Now, those, would be some interesting puddles!

Solid vs. liquid intermittence would be bad for most material, including carpet. I can't imagine having the horrible luck of having one's carpet intermittently change from a solid to a liquid. I'd be sure to get stuck or have one of my kids stuck or a guest--who every time he comes over we seem to have the bad luck of having our carpet liquify under his feet--stuck.

I'm just happy for the law of interia, which seems to keep things going the way they are.

Then again, maybe the law of interia might turn out to be intermittent...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How Many Teeth Does The Tooth Fairy Pick Up Each Night in Utah?

Somebody asked me a question about my Tooth Fairy post the other day that got me thinking. How many baby teeth are lost every day in Utah?

I began with Googling. Surely someone else has thought of this and run some numbers, right? Lo, there is a tooth fairy site that claims that the Tooth Fairy collects 300,000 teeth per night.

That's a lot; however, when I ran the numbers, it started to seem awfully low.

Let's assume that the Tooth Fairy collects all baby teeth regardless of quality and we assume that all children lose all their baby teeth. The world population of children sits at 2.2 billion, with 74.2 million of them in the United States. Of those, approximately 896,961 of them are in Utah. This means that somewhere around .04077% of the world's children are in Utah.

If we assume that kids in Utah lose teeth at the same rate as all other children in the world and that each day in the year is just as likely as the rest to lose a tooth, then we have that of the alleged …

Five Reasons Serving on the Athlos Board is Fun Right Now

About 18 months ago, a friend of mine, Bethany Zeyer, let me know about an open position on the Athlos Academy of Utah school board. I've always had a passion for education, and my kids' school seemed like a place where I could have a positive effect on the community.

Also, I'd just finished reading "The Smartest Kids in the World" by Amanda Ripley and, based on Amanda's advice, interviewed the school's director.

I was in the mood to contribute!


I applied and was accepted, and I've been serving on the board for a little over a year now.

Since then, I've learned a whole lot about how a school is run.

I've learned that someone needs to determine the school guidelines for pesticide usage.



And that someone needs to be thinking about the long-term future of the school, whether or not to increase grade capacity, whether or not to match the pay increases big school districts are giving, and most importantly, evaluate whether or not the school is achi…

Twas the Night Before Pi Day

Twas the Night Before Pi Day
by Joshua Cummings

Twas the night before Pi Day, when Archimedes, the muse,
Went to pay me a visit whilst I took a snooze.

I'd visions of carrot cake, candy, and cheese
When dashed open my window and entered a breeze
That stirred me to consciousness, albeit in time
To see my face plastered in pie of key lime.

And once I'd removed the fruit from my eyes
And put on my spectacles did I realize
That before me presented a most divine spectre
Who clearly possessed the Key Lime Projector.

"It's a fulcrum, you see!" he began to explain,
"All I use is this crank to cause the right strain,
"Then releasing its fetter it launches sky high
"The juiciest pie of key lime in your eye!"

I sat there immobile for what seemed a year,
As the spectre protested I his genius revere,
When clearly it came, the fine revelation,
Of his piety, honor, achievements, and station.
With his little old catapult, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment that this must be …