Back when the Gateway Mall had just opened, my sister and I were strolling along the upper level when we saw a fellow coming towards us in the opposite direction. I don't remember if Kimmie noticed or not, but a smirk found its way onto my face as I read the all-caps white writing on his black shirt: I CAN'T, I'M MORMON If you live in Utah, where there are lots of Mormons, and still more folks that talk about Mormons, you might have also seen the shirt, and perhaps a similar smirk stole across your face as the kernel of truth struck you as is the nature of these kinds of jokes. And it is just a joke...right? Actually, Latter-Day Saints have high expectations for themselves, myself included. We don't drink addictive teas, coffee, or alcohol . We don't smoke. Many eat only a little meat. We don't have sex before marriage . We don't have sex with anyone other than our spouse after marriage. There are several "don't"s tha